How to Be Annoying
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Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in a foriegn currency.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Poke people you don't know in the cheek and run away and giggle.
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations in public consisting entirely of "Beeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
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