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We require a written contract, both with us and our primary biller.
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Dude, that's like, so 19th century! By the time we've mailed each other dead trees, I'll have forgotten you. Pass.
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You must present our site and models respectfully.
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I always do.
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Your pages must be entered in a database of URLs.
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What? And what happens every time I change my blog template, and a thousand URLs change courtesy of the Mod Rewrites in my .htaccess? Pass.
If I wanted to live in a ghetto, I'd be wearing a yellow star. No, wait, you're telling me to put on a yellow star if I want to do business with you? Pass.
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You must avoid keywords, domain names, and meta tags with words on the Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection's List of Unacceptable Words.
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What, you mean that words can be evil all by themselves, without reference to any silly details like context, nuance, or satire? Sorry, no, inflexible keyword blacklisting is for morons. Pass.
Needless to say, I wouldn't DREAM of doing business with a program like this. If there's one thing I've learned in five years as a professional affiliate, it's that program owners need me worse than I need them. And the ones who don't know it are inevitably a horrible pain in the ass to deal with.