In the tradition of GFY advice, help me poop! That's right, help me make logs!
I have 2 options,
A

poop now, not risking dropping my stinky load in my pants or
B

Poop in a ziplock bag and open it, take pics of it and send it to ZangoCash.com headquarters
You decision GFY will direct my life into whatever facet of joy you wish it to. Have at it!