Quote:
Originally posted by Voodoo
I agree. It's just frustrating that she asked me to marry her, but, then wants to back out. I suppose she wants to see how dedicated I am to her.
Chicks are messed up... they play these games, and then expect the guy to just sit there and take it. I suppose after a while, they just get tired of the games, and start getting real.
I guess a chick who is 21 and still in college doesn't really know how to be real yet.
Patience.
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Yes, my friend, being 21 and still in college you DONT really know what you want.
From being married to Mrs Kornfield for a few years now, you have to remember some basic things...
1. Will this person stick with me no matter what happens to us, such as loosing a job and suddendly your cash is not there as your had it, one gets a major sickness and takes a while to mend, etc.
2. Can I accept them for who they are today and also keep my mind open to accept them for who they become, everyone changes as time goes on and this ideal can be a sticky area for some.
3. Can I place their needs above mine and make that sacrifice to go without at times?
4. Can I put nothing above our love as "more important" to me as a person?, after you are married you are now one. not 2.
If you can say yes to these things with honesty, then I say take the plunge. Waiting is good for a bus, paint to dry or a pizza. Good luck and enjoy, post wedding pics.
If you cant say yes to these with honesty, then I would take stock of the situation that is at hand. Remember, there are times in life that we are all dealt INCREDIBLE tests and our mate being there will make all the difference to us, even if its only to listen to you bitch and moan about people they dont know or understand why you WANT to know them.
If your mate cant make the commitment to you 100% to be there and love you, respect you, nuture, etc. Then you need to wait on this more. If she wants to bail on you cause of this, then let her. If she is cool with this then I would really engage for a bit, live together, and then ratchet it up from there.
I met Mrs Korfiend July 4th weekend, we moved in 5 days later, got engaged month after that and have been married 3 years now, looking at 4th year. Never a problem in terms of our commitment to each other, but, LOTS of really interesting shit life has dealt us that tested the sanity and reslience of each other. At the end of the day, we made it and will make it no matter what.
That is what you need in a partner. No matter what, you are in it to win it and aint no questions bout it.
lates!
Herb K