Originally Posted by http://www.billdawes.net

1. The Freemasons are racists. Most of the original Freemasons were slave owners. True, there are black Freemasons now, but they have their own separate group and neither the white Masons nor the black Masons want anything to do with the other. They are anti-Mason mixing. Let's be honest, though. The black Freemasons are like arena league football. Sure, it's football, I guess. But it's no NFL.

I would do a project on this if I had colored construction paper and non-toxic Elmer's glue, but I don't ... so I'll rant instead. According to my 7th grade history book, when coming up with a name for their faggoty-ass club, it was between the Freemasons and the Dontfreeblacksons.

2. The Freemasons are idiots. Although movies like "The DaVinci Code" would like us to believe that there is a cabal of rich, white men puppeteering the nation and dictating everything that happens from some secret illuminati headquarters that ISN'T the White House (hmmm.... "white" house...), my gut feeling is that the Freemasons have small dicks and like to pee on each other in 18th-century copper bathtubs. I will guarantee that initiation into Freemasonry involves cock and balls in or around a male mouth.

3. The Freemasons are powerless and desperate for money. Possibly, these illuminati needed the back end from the "Seinfeld" DVDs. Why else would they let this cracked-out nigoraphobic into their clandestine lair? How low has the world of evil sects sunk when Kosmo Kramer is the highest ranking, highest profile member of their secret society?

4. The Freemasons are enlightened individuals who used Michael Richards' public persona to illuminate (hence "illuminati") the racism inherent and prevalent in American society today by instigating a worldwide debate on the essence of xenophobia and, more specifically, the words "hahahahahaha", "hahahahahaha", and "hahahahahaha." They are simply breaking a bone in order that it may heal better. 20 years from now, many of you Caucasians will be stroking a hot, chocolate-skinned zulu African woman, and silently thinking, "Gee... thanks Michael Richards! If it weren't for you --- uhhhh, I'm gonna cum!"