Originally Posted by schneemann

I'm not one of the 5 programmers who've flaked, but here's what I have to say about Pain In The Ass Clients

- If your spec doesn't outline exactly what you need and I have to recode everything because your shitty memory made you forget to tell me something, guess what? You're paying for the extra time.

- If you expect me to deliver the product to you "post haste", then answer my fucking emails post haste. When I have a question, or I need something clarified, or I need you to send me content, then answer the e-mail with what I need.

- No, I'm not your tech support. I'm a web developer. Stop asking me how to do something in Excel.

- Yes. I think you're a nice guy. No, that doesn't mean you get a discount

- No, I don't want to "share profits" in lieu of payment. My hourly rate is $50 USD per hour. When you invest $50 worth of ad revenue for every hour I spend developing your website, and when you show me your Business Plan and Marketing Plan, as well as a written Partnership Agreement, then we can talk about sharing profits. Until then shut the fuck up and pay me.

- No, I won't upload the work to your server until you pay me.

- No, I won't store customers' credit card numbers in plain text in a database on your crappy shared hosting account.

- Yes, I'll be glad to teach you to do it yourself. My hourly rate for instruction is the same as my hourly rate for development.

- By all means, go ahead and hire some guy in a mud hut on the other side of the world. When everything is all fucked up, my hourly rate will double to fix what they fucked up.