GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Enhance Your Industry Profile

Lazonby · 01-23-2007, 01:07 PM

I have been approached by several top industry players to broker their services in offering profile-enhancement methods designed to create and maintain the profile and reputation you deserve. Discretion guaranteed.

1. The Cheesecake Method - this involves receiving a cheesecake from the industry player of your choice, then after you've scoffed it you can make a thread thanking the player and enhancing your name by association.

WiredGuy - $5000. WiredGuy is in demand as a trickster to make Google surfers click on the links in obviously worthless spam sites, making his clients $$$$$$$$$$$. He will take 5 minutes out of his busy schedule for the price of five thousand dollars - a snip when compared to what you will be able to command for your sig once you have received this prestigious cheesecake.

Juicy D Links - $200. Currently a bargain (everyone seems to be kissing Ramos' ass these days, hmmmmm), Juicy will cum onto the cake of your choice then send it to you wrapped in a pair of his underpants.

ScottyBuzz - minus $12. That's right. Scotty will actually pay you to have a cheesecake off of him. Offer limited to one cheesecake (he only has 12 dollars).

Sleazydream - $50. Offer discontinued. He ate all the cheesecakes.

2. The Dinner Method. This is where the top notch player of your choice will accompany you to dinner then will make a thread thanking you for it, enhancing your reputation before the eyes of literally thousands of surfers on GFY.

MikeVega - $150. Just keep your hands away from his mouth and don't say I didn't warn you.

KlenTelaris - $5. Mr Telaris welcomes any kind of food except goat, which is all he gets to eat in his 3rd world shithole.

SquishyPimp- a month's sig money (about 20 bucks). Squishy will arrive in character and will say "Great contest", "Nice domain" and "Thanks for the info" at the end of each sentence you say.

CuriousToyBoy - $30 for the service and $600 for food. Whatever you do, don't try and keep up with him because he is a renowned party animal, and don't bend over to pick up any soap when he is behind you - he is as gay as a three dollar note.

3. The Players Ball Photoshop. Your face will be photoshopped onto the head of someone who is standing next to the adult industry personality of your choice. Please note, this works for fat fucks only because I haven't worked out how to stretch layers in Photoshop yet.

KBizzle - $150,000. KBizzle is one of adult's premier players and knows absolutely everything about everything, including how to get paid a fucking fortune for doing fuck all then delivering a substandard service. Add $50 if you want the pimp costume to be even more ridiculous than usual.

Legendary Lars - $1.50. Currently unavailable as he has got alot of spyware on his computer which he has to get rid of.

polish_aristocrat - a sack of potatos. Polish will make you look beautiful next to his goatee beard and receeding hairline. Add Dirty_Franck and DorkJedi for a true taste of the European webmaster personality - $50 each.

Contact [email protected]

01-23-2007, 01:07 PM
Lazonby Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,262	Enhance Your Industry Profile - service inside I have been approached by several top industry players to broker their services in offering profile-enhancement methods designed to create and maintain the profile and reputation you deserve. Discretion guaranteed. 1. The Cheesecake Method - this involves receiving a cheesecake from the industry player of your choice, then after you've scoffed it you can make a thread thanking the player and enhancing your name by association. WiredGuy - $5000. WiredGuy is in demand as a trickster to make Google surfers click on the links in obviously worthless spam sites, making his clients $$$$$$$$$$$. He will take 5 minutes out of his busy schedule for the price of five thousand dollars - a snip when compared to what you will be able to command for your sig once you have received this prestigious cheesecake. Juicy D Links - $200. Currently a bargain (everyone seems to be kissing Ramos' ass these days, hmmmmm), Juicy will cum onto the cake of your choice then send it to you wrapped in a pair of his underpants. ScottyBuzz - minus $12. That's right. Scotty will actually pay you to have a cheesecake off of him. Offer limited to one cheesecake (he only has 12 dollars). Sleazydream - $50. Offer discontinued. He ate all the cheesecakes. 2. The Dinner Method. This is where the top notch player of your choice will accompany you to dinner then will make a thread thanking you for it, enhancing your reputation before the eyes of literally thousands of surfers on GFY. MikeVega - $150. Just keep your hands away from his mouth and don't say I didn't warn you. KlenTelaris - $5. Mr Telaris welcomes any kind of food except goat, which is all he gets to eat in his 3rd world shithole. SquishyPimp- a month's sig money (about 20 bucks). Squishy will arrive in character and will say "Great contest", "Nice domain" and "Thanks for the info" at the end of each sentence you say. CuriousToyBoy - $30 for the service and $600 for food. Whatever you do, don't try and keep up with him because he is a renowned party animal, and don't bend over to pick up any soap when he is behind you - he is as gay as a three dollar note. 3. The Players Ball Photoshop. Your face will be photoshopped onto the head of someone who is standing next to the adult industry personality of your choice. Please note, this works for fat fucks only because I haven't worked out how to stretch layers in Photoshop yet. KBizzle - $150,000. KBizzle is one of adult's premier players and knows absolutely everything about everything, including how to get paid a fucking fortune for doing fuck all then delivering a substandard service. Add $50 if you want the pimp costume to be even more ridiculous than usual. Legendary Lars - $1.50. Currently unavailable as he has got alot of spyware on his computer which he has to get rid of. polish_aristocrat - a sack of potatos. Polish will make you look beautiful next to his goatee beard and receeding hairline. Add Dirty_Franck and DorkJedi for a true taste of the European webmaster personality - $50 each. Contact [email protected]