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Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kat's Christmas party. It was Amy who spiked the punch with too much Tea. I can't help it if I drank 72 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like BO.
I thought it was funny when I put Jessica's panties on my head and danced the the robot on the chair while singing `so much for the afterglow'. I didn't mean to break Kat's monitor and don't know why Kat would sue me for rape.
I don't remember calling Bob's wife a extra pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and pink lipstick!
And when I threw up on Jody's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that candy.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a very cat and have me arrested for torture!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all small and dark. And I'm really not to blame for any of this large stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and really yours,
Jon (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!
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"People can have the Model T in any color - so long as it's black." - Henry Ford
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