|
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at sean's Christmas party. It was mike who spiked the punch with too much milk. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like butt sweat.
I thought it was funny when I put ian's thong on my head and danced the flamenco on the chair while singing `she rides'. I didn't mean to break sean's dildo and don't know why sean would sue me for fraud.
I don't remember calling Isaac's wife a toasted pig---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!
And when I threw up on Liz's husband's Anus, it was only because I ate too much of that Brocoli.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Hummer through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a burnt cat and have me arrested for theft!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all scrubbed and salty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this thick stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and running yours,
Ryan (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 5 bucks!
__________________
29971761
|