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Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at LUCLONELY's Christmas party. It was pr0 who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like shit.
I thought it was funny when I put jenny's underwear on my head and danced the square dance on the desk while singing `Lollipop porn bitch'. I didn't mean to break LUCLONELY's vibrator and don't know why LUCLONELY would sue me for lewd behaviour.
I don't remember calling Steve's wife a cummy goat---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Jessica's husband's feet, it was only because I ate too much of that burgers.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my unicycle through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a dirty dog and have me arrested for obscenity!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all grave and flashy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this horny stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and kinkyly yours,
Dildozer (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 910 bucks!
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