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2. Why do you have issues with sabotaging good things & self esteem issues that hold you back?
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What a great question and I have no idea where you got that from for I have told about 3 people in my life. Well researched.
I have not a fear of failure but of success. I?m very hard on myself and give myself no credit for any success I have had big or small.
I have failed lots lol and I'm quite good at it.lol so when things start going good it freaks me out. I can't explain it. I wish I could. Mostly it sneaks up on me during a deal, when talking to someone of the opposite sex or public speaking. You go from being on top of the world too feeling like WHAT AM I DOING HERE GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW in 1 second. It?s weird, not normal and I can't articulate what it feels like. I guess its like being scared, nervous, embarrassed and naked in front of strangers all at the same time.
It washes over me and haunts me. It haunts me. I have everything from personal development tapes and have even taken public speaking courses to fight it.
It doesn?t happen as much as it used too.
It's one of my personal demons that?s never been talked about until now.
As for self esteem issues that?s not something I have ever been told. I have been told I?m shy, to maybe be more assertive but now that I think of it maybe I do. Don?t we all?