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1) Fool everyone into thinking you have just eaten an apple by rubbing your stomach and saying loudly "Mmm! That was a lovely apple."
2) Murderers, need to dispose of a body? Simply package it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
3) Movie goers, please have consideration for pirate DVD recorders by having a piss before the film starts.
4) 'Every cigarette you smoke takes 10 seconds off your life', health experts say. To combat this, at the end of every day work out how many seconds you have 'lost', and simply go to bed that much later, or wake up that much earlier the next morning. Hey presto! your lost time is returned.
5) Dont waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
Regards,
Lee
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