I don't proclaim to speak for every girl, but I get off on occasionally being choked or choking a partner I know and trust well. power thing, sometimes it's exciting to voluntarily give up control to a partner. I've never had a rape fantasy personally. So I wouldn't say the two are connected at all times.
Then again I'm not into the really hard choking, turning purple isn't sexy hehe
Sometimes it's an animalistic thing. When you lose all control (which again, for me, can only happen with someone I'm very connected to) and want something above and beyond the norm. For us it can be no different than a good spanking, which I love.
I guess when you've been with your partner for eight years and you're each honest with your personal fantasies, layers will show up that you hadn't anticipated. For us it came with trust and testing boundaries. It keeps us even more connected and attracted to one another. The element of surprise. And we're open to trying new things to keep eachother excited.
Before Jon, though, I would have been appalled at the idea of being choked. There were a lot of things I was closed off to. But being in a secure, loving relationship allowed me to explore parts of both our fantasy lives in a safe way.
The mental aspect of orgasms is such a personal, subjective thing. To each their own. OK I'm off to get a spanking now, this was hot
