Two guys are having a quiet beer together.
One guy says that at the airport counter the other day he needed tickets to Pittsburgh, and the girl selling tickets had this incredible set of jugs. He pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give him two pickets to Titsburgh and then had to embarrassingly say he meant two tickets to Pittsburgh. It just embarrassed the shit out of him.
The guy turns to the other and asked his friend if he had ever done anything that stupid?
Funny you would ask said his friend.
Just this morning my wife and I were having breakfast. I was reading the paper and drinking my coffee. I meant to say, dear, would you please pass me the sugar, but instead I said, 'You fucking bitch, you've ruined my life!"
