Originally Posted by notabook

Hard Candy ranks among the shittiest movies that I have EVER seen. Want to watch a much better movie (acting, scripting, you name it) that is still somewhat relevant to the industry? Go watch Feed. Sure, it's pretty nasty and downright shitty during times but at least that movie has some shred of dignity and believability, unlike Hard Candy.

Summary is below for anyone who is still considering watching Hard Candy. I warn you I?m not making any of this shit up, the movie is really THIS BAD:

The movie starts out slower than forest gump with the 14 year old slut girl entrapping the older man (I think he?s in his 30?s) to meet her at some gay ass disco-wannabe place via IM chat. They meet and talk, at this point she knows he?s a photographer. She wants to go back to his place, so they go. He offers her a drink, she says no, fixes it herself and him one also. His has a drug in it, he passes out.

Well? not too much longer after him passing out he wakes up dazed and confused as to what the fuck?s happened. Turns out 14 year old slut girl isn?t really a slut girl at all but a heroine with super powers of every sort determined to make this guy commit suicide for taking pictures of a child that he witness die. To get ?proof?, she uses her degree in cryptanalysis to crack the guys safe and finds a picture of the girl (or something, during this part of the movie I was already in a trance at its stupidity).

You think this is where the movie gets stupid but you?d be wrong? really wrong. I can?t quite remember what happens at this point, I remember he?s tied up to a chair and has a gun (he?s swirling around on this swivel chair like a maniac trying to get a shot at this 14-year old super hero). I think he gets hit on the head and then she reveals another one of her powers, super strength. She puts him up on this table and prepares to operate on him (she tells him the best way to help society is to castrate him).

During all of this whole ordeal he keeps telling her he?s not a pedophile and please not to cut out my nuts. She sets up a camera and TV system so he can watch his own castration; turns out that this is all just a ploy as she put in a tape on castration (which she filmed in her spare time I guess, man this chick has every super power in existence!) and is just mind-fucking him royally. He gets pissed when he realizes he?s still a man (hey, I?d be happy) and goes into the bathroom where he thinks she?s taking a shower.

SHE?S NOT! She?s came even more prepared and uses her lightning powers on him to knock him out (ok, so this was a stungun). Then here comes her super power wudan powers again; she somehow (again, she?s a sub 90lb chick) hoists this 200+ lb man up onto the ceiling in the kitchen where she wants him to commit suicide via hanging. He doesn?t do it, he gets the ?leg up? so to speak and tries to choke her to death with his legs.

He fails (because she?s a god or something) and it all eventually leads to a rooftop ?fight? of sorts. In a previous sceen, the 14 year old bitch girl has called his ex girlfriend (I think it was his girlfriend) just so that she can watch him commit suicide. Somehow she convinces him to commit suicide and that she?ll clear up the whole incident of the whole CP thing and make everything right. He bargains, says he?ll tell her where the guy that killed the girl she?s talking about is at. She says that?s funny, he said the same thing about you (there?s her SUPER INTELLECT!). He then kills himself. THE END.

To make a long story short: 14-year old petite girl defeats 30 year old fairly tall and robust man using her array of various super powers (which ranges from cryptanalysis to vast super strength and mental manipulation) in order to ultimately get the guy to kill himself.

NOW SERIOUSLY, if you go out and watch this movie you are fucking more retarded than jesus christ for giving up your life for humanity.