As far as cool goes, we are the coolest ones of our kids friends parents, simply because we remember what it was like to be their ages. We have them 8, 13, 17 and 22. NO MATTER what though, you can't always be cool because they expect and NEED us to teach and guide and discipline them, and yes they WANT these things. BUT, we have this thing in my house where if they have really done something fucked up, they can come and talk to us as not just their parents, but as PEOPLE....... they have a chance to come clean on it themselves without us finding out and punishment won't be near as harsh or strict.
We promote our kids being people, not sit in the corner and speak when you are spoken to kids. We encourage them to speak their minds but they have no right to yell them at us, if they speak to us in a normal tone, we listen, but not with them showing disrespect. If we ask them to do something and they have a valid reason why they don't want to then ok, we talk about it.
What you have to know, you can BE cool and be the parent, it isn't always easy because the parent part always has to take the front seat, but you can manage them both....
I used to say I'd promote them doing things like smoking pot and such at home too, but I couldn't do it when it came that time, my job as a PARENT, is to protect them from it, but at the same time, if they are GOING to do it, then I have to teach them to be responsible about it....... THAT part is hard. I mean, we all know they do as they please and they experiment and you walk a tightrope of punishing them for it or teaching them to do it responsibly..... that's the best you can do. Same thing with Sex, you can tell them not to do it all damn day but they are going to do it.. arm them with the responsible tools... to me THAT makes you a cool parent. Don't try and force them to do your bidding, they won't do it, arm them, teach them and guide them, THEN you will be a cool parent. You can teach without condoning.
