Jesus, when I saw the big empty space in your post, I was afraid there was gonna be a picture. That big gaping asshole picture, most likely. Which is apparently like some kind of lurking phantom -- just to speak it's name will cause it to appear. Good money says it's the next thing that's going to be posted in this thread.
As for laughing at colitis and stuff like that -- christ, if I couldn't laugh at it I would have offed myself already. IBS is my personal cross to bear...thank goddess it wasn't colon cancer. My grandmother passed away from that a few months ago, and I was terrified I was next. Hence the wonderful colonoscopy.
What was fun, however, was trying to communicate before the procedure with my surgeon -- he's Middle Eastern, and I don't think he's ever quite met anyone like me before.
I was sitting there on the table asking him about my piercings -- I have, among other things, a clit hood piercing, and I wanted to know if the jewelry had to be removed completely before the procedure, or if I could put an acrylic ring in it.
The dude looked at me like I had three heads. "A what piercing?" he finally stutters.
"A clitoral hood," I repeated, and watched as comprehension completely failed to dawn on him. Damn, I feel sorry for this fucker's poor wife, if he's a DOCTOR and still has this little of a clue how to find his way around female anatomy. Maybe I'll send her a vibrator for Christmas...
"A what?"
Sweet baby jesus. "It's a genital piercing," I said, and just to make sure he got it, I gestured southwards.
He started to blush. A ha! A light has dawned!
"Um. Well. You do know that you have more than one hole...er, down there," he said, and went over to the chart of the gut system hanging on the wall. "You see, this is the anus, and--"
"Uh huh. Riiiight. I'll, um, ask your nurse. On my way out. Thanks, doc."
The nurse answered my question in about three seconds flat. Stupid doctor.
If you ever do find that book, I'd love to see it. Make good bathroom reading when I'm trapped in there...
