Please post some samples.

Here's a good one:

"Me and a friend were sitting out on the patio of this bar having a few drinks and this damn bird shit on my back. My friend tells me that some say it is good luck to have a bird shit on you. Sounds fucked up to me but it must be true cause right after that this hot latina babe walks by and we ask her to join us. She does and I was even able to smooth talk her into coming back to my place for some drinks. Well I didn't really have drinks and the only thing I was interested in was that booty. Check it out..."