Originally Posted by notabook

Black people often travel in a troop in order to confuse and disorient their prey. While their prey is thoroughly confused by their odd movements and horrid attempts at speaking the English language, a smaller monkey, uh I mean black person, will often attempt to steal something from the intended target. If the target catches on and attempts to stop the smaller, weaker black person from stealing his possessions, the larger shaven gorillas will often jump into the fray, madly beating their chest and sputtering words such as ?shizzle? and ?nizzle? in an attempt to lull their target into fear. 7/10 times they are successful and the target will either run off in a random direction attempting to escape, or give up his or her possessions willingly to the large negroids.

Thanks to the famous studies done by L.C. Whitehammer, those who are targeted by blacks now have several successful way to effectively fight back and no longer are forced to give up their possessions in the heat of the moment. One is the baiting maneuver in which you throw the negroids a bucket of fried chicken. They will fight each other over it and take care of themselves for you. If fried chicken isn?t available, the second method is the reverse-double-bluff confusion method in which you throw either a gigantic pair of plush dice or anything made of purple satin at them. They will stare at awe at the item(s) and be utterly confused, giving you ample time to take them down one at a time.

In a pinch, don?t be afraid to offer up your girlfriend as bait in order to get the upper hand. There is nothing more tempting to a large black man than a white woman (they rarely care about the appearance or size of said woman, so if she?s a cow don?t worry; they won?t care) and by using a modified version of Whitehammer?s reverse-double-bluff confusion method, you can often times duplicate success rates up to 70%. While she may be no substitute for gigantic plush dice or purple satin, she will often provide enough of a distraction allowing you to call for help. IT IS NOT recommended you take on blacks once they set eyes on a white woman; they may become enraged as their genitals become gorged with blood and attack anything in site at an attempt to mate with the white female.