Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

It would be fun to teach newbies all bad habits during a newbie seminar:



1) Be wild and obnoxious all the time, this is the porn industry, not church!

2) Don't take no for an answer, ask 50 times if you have to!

3) Fondle all the girls, they love the attention!

4) Tell everyone whatever they want to hear. We expect you to exaggerate!

5) Run with new ideas, don't waste precious time thinking about them. You gotta beat your competition to the market!

6) Do lots of cocaine and ecstacy, together with pot and alcohol. You gotta fit in!

7) Be sure to tell the experienced webmasters stuff you think they are doing wrong. They need honest feedback to keep them on their toes!

8) Ask us to invest in your most hairbrained ideas -- we have too much money and need tax writeoffs!

9) Icq us at all hours, day or night, just to say "hi". We get so lonely!

10) Always remember that YOUR traffic is gold, and if we want it, we should prepay!

11) All sites really convert at 1:100 or less. Any company showing worse from your traffic should be outed immediately on the boards for shaving! Don't warn them first either!

12) Remember, your board name is enough to carry any new program, so start your own company as soon as you can!


Damn why do these seem to write themselves?