Originally Posted by BT

My blues

As I sit with no feelings my mind travels dark roads,
In the middle of the night all the toll booths are closed.
With no where to go I reflect on my bent past,
All like broken glass, from years of living it fast.
Drug deals had me hustling my youth under water,
I look back and feel pain like the pigs that I slaughtered.
I believed everyone looked up to me, in my world I can?t see,
The pain and suffering I was inflicting upon my loved ones.
The people who believed in my lies that left them with cries,
With no comprise to undo curse of drugs and alcohol super sized.
Will it end? Better yet where did it begin? I'm bottled up in my soul full of sin.
Let the games begin and I?ll show you a champ, I?m a team player,
Let?s forget my head cramps, only memories don?t die they just fade away,
And wonder why my friends don?t come out to play. Let?s just say,
I dug ditches for riches but riches just bleed, in my life full of greed,
Why did God plant my seed? To blossom, be strong and undo all the wrong?
My decisions were fast, which left me to crash, my fifty yard dash,
Where life does not last. I?m sorry, I?m said, I?m remorseful, and I?m blue,
At that age in my struggle I never thought of another, my sisters, my brothers,
My mom and my dad, I thought of suicide but then they would be sad.
Not me my heart is stone, I?ll leave you my clone, to be left alone.
In a world that is fucked up because I choose the wrong paths,
I could have just said NO and that slogan could have grown or just slowed,
The pain, the suffering, the drugs, the sleepless nights, the enemies that tried,
To destroy all my light, why all of this? I am crazy, I am sick, I am dumb.
With the click of a barrel I?d be comfortably numb, Let the drum roll,
I?ll click it like a summer night?s cricket. I?d rather live longer
Try hard just to stick it, out with no doubts, let time take its toll,
Hang tough with my mental thru rainy days in cold but I am
Optimistic and my strength beat up on my weaknesses so I sit before
Myself and wonder why, why, why and I just shake my head.
?I can?t leave this place without making my bed.? BT