Actor Mel Gibson says he regrets his arrest for driving under the influence of alcohol last Friday. The deeply religious Gibson explained that he was over the legal limit after indulging in an "extended communion session" to plan The Passion Of The Christ II: Judgement Day. Gibson has checked himself into a rehab clinic this week, but it's unsure whether he is receiving treatment for his problem with alcohol or his problem with Jews.
The actor has been accused of making anti-Semitic comments when he was arrested, which Gibson described as "just typical of the you-know-whos that run the media". But Gibson has denied being anti-Semitic. "Some of my best friends are fucking Jews who are responsible for all the wars in the world," he claimed.
Gibson announced he will be conducting his own defence in an incomprehensible mixture of Aramaic and Latin. The controversial actor will call his father, Hutton Gibson, as the primary witness for the defence. He is expected to testify that like the Holocaust, Gibson's arrest never took place.
The ultra-conservative Catholic will base his defence on arguing that because of transubstantiation, the liquor he was drinking was no longer tequila, but the literal blood of Christ. "Is it a crime to commune with Jesus Christ by sipping freely of his blood?" Gibson asked. "It is? So the Jews have their filthy tentacles all over the legal system as well."
After sobering up, a chastened Gibson issued an apology for his comments. "I disgraced myself by making statements in the heat of the moment which were despicable," he said. "I should not have said those things about Jews when the Masons, the World Bank and the Skull and Bones society are just as involved in the sinister plot to form the new world order."
thechaser.com.au
hehehehhe..