You asked for "brutal honesty":
You are not ugly. In fact, you are quite attractive.
However, the way you posted this thread- and the fact that you are so sensitive about yourself with respect to your ex's wife's opinions- makes it seem like you are a little bit nuts.
You could be a little quirky and have low self-esteem. Or you could be a full-blown psycho bitch. My brutally honest assessement puts it somewhere in that spectrum.
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