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neewwman · 10-25-2002, 08:53 PM

Your text is full of misspellings, ungrammatical English, sentence fragments, run-on sentences and improper capitalization. The sentences should have two spaces after them, not one. All of this is distracting and some of it is not even comprehensible. For example, the sentence that says "Well Hun!" At first I thought it was a misspelling of "Well Hung." Then I realized you probably meant "Well, Hon!" Here's a rewrite of your main selling text:

"Tired of looking for a true 100% amateur site? Disappointed after clicking banner after banner? Are you ready for something new? Something different? Well then, you're in the right place! My website and cam are definitely different and exciting. I feature all my own content. You won't see these pictures or videos anywhere else but right here! I'm a true slutty amateur housewife! This site gives you the woman next door you wish you could fuck until her husband comes home. This is not one of those so-called amateur sites that's run by some Big Cyber Sex Company and features a model who has absolutely no involvement with the site. This is a totally interactive amateur site which I run myself. So sit and take a look around. I'm sure you'll love what I have to offer."

Hope that's helpful. The rest of the site needs a thorough proofreading by a native speaker of English. There are many, many other mistakes and hard-to-understand passages.

10-25-2002, 08:53 PM
neewwman Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA Posts: 1,737	Your text is full of misspellings, ungrammatical English, sentence fragments, run-on sentences and improper capitalization. The sentences should have two spaces after them, not one. All of this is distracting and some of it is not even comprehensible. For example, the sentence that says "Well Hun!" At first I thought it was a misspelling of "Well Hung." Then I realized you probably meant "Well, Hon!" Here's a rewrite of your main selling text: "Tired of looking for a true 100% amateur site? Disappointed after clicking banner after banner? Are you ready for something new? Something different? Well then, you're in the right place! My website and cam are definitely different and exciting. I feature all my own content. You won't see these pictures or videos anywhere else but right here! I'm a true slutty amateur housewife! This site gives you the woman next door you wish you could fuck until her husband comes home. This is not one of those so-called amateur sites that's run by some Big Cyber Sex Company and features a model who has absolutely no involvement with the site. This is a totally interactive amateur site which I run myself. So sit and take a look around. I'm sure you'll love what I have to offer." Hope that's helpful. The rest of the site needs a thorough proofreading by a native speaker of English. There are many, many other mistakes and hard-to-understand passages. __________________ Porn Wealth Everything the newbie adult webmaster needs to know. Buy it, or sell it through our 50% affiliate program! Last edited by neewwman; 10-25-2002 at 08:56 PM..