We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok,
we now hear the guys' side. These are our rules!
Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
1. Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find
the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with
it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about... unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,
the shotgun, Internet sites and gadgets.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going
to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask! For what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: subtle hints do not work...strong hints do not
work ... obvious hints do not work...Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates...mark anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pair of shoes, tops. What makes
you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out
of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers..to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it...That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Check you own oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument...In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways make's you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's
genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done, not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out...Get over
it...And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings...Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color
...Pumpkin is also a fruit...We have no idea what
mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched...We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be...Our
lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
- Just so we see eye to eye!
