Easy to use webmaster area: Link codes are easy to generate, stats are clean and straightforward, can be accessed for any date range and show referring urls, campaign tracking, etc... (personally I like NATS but whatever). No porn necessary on the webmaster backend, I hate that shit, makes it a pain checking stats at the airport or wherever.
Webmaster defineable pricepoints: I like the programs doing this, letting you choose between $1/$4.95/full month links or whatever depending on your traffic.
Weekly payouts with little delay (programs that pay out a month behind really bother me... 2 weeks is reasonable).
Support who gets back to you quickly, especially in regards to accounting/payout issues.
Tracking: Both cookies and html link tracking, cookies should be set for a decent amount of time (no 1 day bullshit), although no need for 6 months (If the surfer is returning in 6 months obviously the affiliate didn't do a very good selling job in the first place).
No need for contests, pictures of ferraris, naked girls, names with "bucks" or "cash" etc... Just provide a program that makes money
