Well it was nice knowing you kabees. I just wish I could have gotten to know you a bit more personal... I had it all setup for just me and you. I had the entire day planned. I would start by arriving early that morning and knocking seductively on your door. You would answer, pleasantly surprised to see me, neigh, you would be shocked to see me. A smile would arise to your face as you saw me carrying a long stemmed red rose and a fotie of crazy horse. I would whisk away and we would drive off into the sunset in my 1987 Subaru.
Suddenly we see a hitchhiker and against my better judgment we stop to see if we can be any assistance. The guy jumps in the car? HE HAS A KNIFE! He shivs me in the back and I fade in and out of consciousness. While I?m unconscious, he has his way with your virgin asshole and steals all your bling and the fortie. When I awake, I?m shocked to discover what has happened and I do the only logical thing I can think of: I dropkick your ass to the curb and drive off into the sunset, trying to rescue the only thing that ever mattered to me, that delicious bottle of crazy horse.
I never found that guy, or the fortie. I can only hope that it somehow managed to escape the hitchhikers grasp and is in hiding, hoping someday, somehow, it gets rescued and drank by someone who loves it, rather than someone wanting to get a quick buzz.