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Elvis, buried deep in his bunker far under Area 51, and VERY pissed off because Marylin Monroe ate the last of his KrispyKreme donuts, ordered the sniper into action. The sniper is really Saddam Hussein, who was the gunman on the grassy knoll. George W. Bush knows this, as a card-carrying member of the Trilateral Commission, and is ordering the attack on Iraq in revenge for the sinking of the Maine, the Bismark, and the Edmond Fitzgerald, which was really a communist Chinese spy ship plying the intelligence-lucrative waters of Lake Gitchigoomi. If you scan the appropriate reliable sources, it should be obvious to anyone.
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