Knee-slapper of the week
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, some orange juice, and a package of bacon. As she was loading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier. He said, "You must be single." The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n shit."
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