All mentioned are brilliant, but without a doubt my favourite:
A few of the many, many lines:
Do these (balloons) blow up into funny shapes?
Not unless you think round is funny.
Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 'Cause if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion.
Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?
I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got ... and make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife