BradM

Here are a few things I have learned tonight:
1) Do not vomit on the bartender. He will take offence to it and likely stop serving you the yummy beverages you've been pounding back all night.
2) Do not vomit anywhere in the bar outside of the restroom.
3) Leave all clothing on at all times.
4) Don't try to Tom Cruise your beer like it is a vodka bottle. There's no top on a glass of Stella.
5) Don't yell "HEY. Hey..... HEY........ HEY" repeatedly when trying to get someones attention.
6) If you MUST touch breasts, ensure the breast's hand does not have a wedding ring on.
7) Do not dirty dance with your best friend - who happens to be male.
8) On the drive home, keep your window up. A wide open window with a head sticking out at 3am is a surefire way to attract attention.
9) No one cares that you're drunk. Stop bragging about it in the hallways of your apartment complex.
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10) Do not call ex girlfriends. Not because you're drunk, but because no one likes getting woken up at 3am to: "HEY. Hey..... HEY........ HEY"