True story that happened yesterday - GoFuckYourself.com

SleazyDream · 10-05-2009, 04:25 AM

I'm walking into a convenience store here in Gimli looking for a movie and watch some kid shoplift a movie case. Now I think no one can be that dumb, as the DVD isn't in the case, but I know the owners so i tell them and sure as shit doesn't the guy leap over the counter and chase the kid down the street. The kid's a runner and the owner is in shape too so they bother start booking down the street at high speed one after the other. Of course it's a scam cause as soon as the owner took off after him 3 kids quicky and quietly pile into the store with empty duffle bags. They're all about 15 and I'm there left in the store wondering if I should defend it or not. the kids don't know me so they just assume I'm a dumb customer who doesn't know the owner and they proceed to start stuffing all the cigarettes and DVDs and lotto tickets into their bags. Stupid me in a situation like this starts thinking right away why the fuck would these idiots take traceable lotto tickets. Then i realize there is a few video cameras in the place and these fools don't have masks on. Now I'm a big guy and after owning a bar I cab COMMAND a presence, so I grab one kid and toss him against the wall like a rag doll flattening him and holler out in a deep forceful voice 'fucking thieves are gona die' . I go for the second one and he drops his bag and bolts for the door. The third kid behind the counter reaches down under the cash register into the deli meat section and take a butcher knife. I feel the adrenaline pump into my veins and quickly look around for a weapon but realize I can't fight a butcher knife with potato chip carton. So I calmly say straight in his eyes as he moves forward on me "I'm gona take that knife off you and slice your but check off with it" without a second's hesitation and no fear at all in me. I can see this scares him but the situation dictates he has to go though me to get to the door to get out so he's basically a caged rat. He friend I tossed gets up now, really shaken and starts to panic says they have to get out of there. The other kid drops the knife and they both run, leaving their half filled bags. Of course a moment later the store owner comes back , out of breath having not caught the kid , and sees the pace wrecked and only me in there. Before I open my mouth he screams WHAT THE FUCK, THAT"s IT and goes for where I know he keeps his gun. I get the fuck out of there as fast as I can, leaving my car in the front of the place. I don't know were to go in a panic so i just start walking around the town, worried the store owner before he cools down will come to my house for me. I realize as I calm down there was cameras and he'll figgure it out in a bit but till then I don't want to get killed. Suddenly as I walk by a house I feel a joilt of pain go right though me. I've been tazerd by the police. Seems as I'm a big guy they were too afraid to confront me so they just zapped me without any questions. I have high blood pressure so the zap caused me a mild heart attack. I blacked out and woke up in the local jail in a lot of pain. Minutes after I wake up I'm hauled into an interrogation room with a cop that keeps pushing a pen and paper in front of me asking for a confession. I look at him like he's in drugs and he keeps saying they know all about me and there's no way out of this now. I calmly mention the video camera and sternly refer to him as a dumbass. He tells me the camera were off, conveniently turned off an hour or so before the robbery and demands to know my whereabouts at that time. I 've had enough, and shake my head in disbelief. He gets aggressive telling me about jail and what will happen to me. This doesn't scare me at all, all my old clients from the bar and in and out of jail her all the time and run the place and love me. Anyway he slaps me and after everything I've had it. The cop is a punny 180 so I grab him by the neck and let him know i'm in controll of him. 3 cops bust into the room, all typical tiny guys and it's a brawl. I throw one into the three and grab a chair. I don't advance but i demand to see the commander but demanding anything from cops isn't exactly smart. They beat me down and I wake up again in my cell covered in blood a few hours later. Apparently I'm being charged with a host of things including assaulting several policed officers and robbery. They keep going on about the pornography thing and how they know everything. I demand my lawyer so they let me have a phone call and an hour later he shows up with all my friends and family and we have a big happy birthday party for my cousin in the jail. So at what point in the story did you realize this was all bullshit and not real at all?

Juicy D. Links · 10-05-2009, 04:34 AM

eliteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

line breakkkk yooo heheheheeh

Skuftyyyyyyyyyy

BlackCrayon · 10-05-2009, 04:39 AM

Bored Sleazy?

SleazyDream · 10-05-2009, 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

Bored Sleazy?

waiting for an upload.....

BlackCrayon · 10-05-2009, 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream

waiting for an upload.....

Ah. Good story though. I was actually believing it.

x582 · 10-05-2009, 05:06 AM

When you said you jumped the cops I knew. Funny

RAM · 10-05-2009, 05:12 AM

I will be honest you had me ..... but between the Tazzer and Beating down the small cops I was in GREAT DisBelief

eddieinaz · 10-05-2009, 05:16 AM

Look like you have a Superman complex too!

cezam · 10-05-2009, 05:18 AM

when you said you grabbed the cop by the neck i realised it's not real. you wouldn't be that stupid to assault a cop. good story tho!

area51 - BANNED FOR LIFE · 10-05-2009, 05:49 AM

I don't feel like reading all that, someone please cliff note it

10-05-2009, 05:50 AM

i read the whole thing, lmao!

Spunky · 10-05-2009, 05:55 AM

When you didn't eat the potatoe chips

Phoenix · 10-05-2009, 06:01 AM

i caught on at the heart attack..lol

10-05-2009, 06:03 AM

Fuck dude, that's not a lot of text, but learn to hit enter every once and a while...

Fletch XXX · 10-05-2009, 06:07 AM

heheh good one

L-Pink · 10-05-2009, 06:08 AM

You lost me at ... "walking into a convenience store"

.

JFK · 10-05-2009, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x582

When you said you jumped the cops I knew. Funny

thats about right

tranza · 10-05-2009, 06:13 AM

Mmmm, looks boring...

CaptainHowdy · 10-05-2009, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by area51

I don't feel like reading all that, someone please cliff note it

Diabetes induced rant...

sexandcash · 10-05-2009, 07:06 AM

Well THIS happened to me yesterday. I am Brian see. It's in the avatar.

wizzart · 10-05-2009, 07:20 AM

Next time, use enter button, please!

xxweekxx · 10-05-2009, 07:27 AM

who wants to read that shit.. use line breaks..and stop snitching

idiot

Richard Dawkins · 10-05-2009, 07:32 AM

I stopped believing it at, "So at what point in the story did you realize this was all bullshit and not real at all?"

StinkyPink · 10-05-2009, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

When you didn't eat the potatoe chips

When he didn't eat the kid stealing the movie case.

Michael O · 10-05-2009, 07:39 AM

Nurgle · 10-05-2009, 08:25 AM

when u said u were walking

10-05-2009, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael O

Jayvis · 10-05-2009, 12:50 PM

I still believe it.

SleazyDream · 10-05-2009, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

When you didn't eat the potatoe chips

why do you think the whole store was in such a mess..... LOL

Huggles · 10-05-2009, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream

So at what point in the story did you realize this was all bullshit and not real at all?

"Now I'm a big guy and after owning a bar I cab COMMAND a presence"

dyna mo · 10-05-2009, 01:00 PM

at the thread title

Deej · 10-05-2009, 01:01 PM

About the time you said you were going to cut his buttcheek off...

I knew then that it wasnt you. Not saying youre a coward, but as youve said in the past,
youre not one to risk your shit(especially your life) for someoneelse's business.

rowan · 10-05-2009, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael O

If there were line breaks then the BS detector would have gone off much sooner.

You can't pull off a Fresh Prince with line breaks...

SleazyDream · 10-05-2009, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rowan

If there were line breaks then the BS detector would have gone off much sooner.

You can't pull off a Fresh Prince with line breaks...

thank you - finally someone with a brain

american pervert · 10-05-2009, 01:48 PM

i knew it was fake when you claimed you got physical with one.

keyboard warriors never get physical

;-)))))

Quagmire · 10-05-2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

You lost me at ... "walking into a convenience store"

.

Was it that 'walking' part that gave him away?

Elli · 10-05-2009, 02:37 PM

haha great story

Ayla_SquareTurtle · 10-05-2009, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huggles

"Now I'm a big guy and after owning a bar I cab COMMAND a presence"

!!

uno · 10-05-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

at the thread title

Same. Feeling the need to say "true story" in the title immediately made me wonder what you'd made up this time.

Loch · 10-05-2009, 03:05 PM

Holy no line breaks batman......im out lol

ThumbLord · 10-05-2009, 03:13 PM

true was the word killing it.
as in the title and the author.

fatfoo · 10-05-2009, 03:45 PM

At this point I starting thinking it's a lie:

"The third kid behind the counter reaches down under the cash register into the deli meat section and take a butcher knife."

cam_girls · 10-05-2009, 04:06 PM

most people don't bother with the B/S confession at the end. You could have milked that party in prison scene for another paragraph, and infiltrated the womens prison, got some ladies pregnant, had some kids, pay support to women in prison..

woj · 10-05-2009, 04:33 PM

Exotic Gold · 10-05-2009, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream

...but I know the owners so i tell them and sure as shit doesn't the guy leap over the counter and chase the kid down the street...

I was at the grocery last week and as I'm loading my shit in the car these two kids come running past with a plastic jug of booze in each hand and behind them is the store security guard screaming at them and chasing.

One books left, one books right and runs right past me.

After 100 yards or so the security guard gives up and as he's walking back past me he says, "Why didn't you stop that kid?"

My answer: "What the fuck makes you think I'm on your side?"

SleazyDream · 10-05-2009, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by american pervert

i knew it was fake when you claimed you got physical with one.

keyboard warriors never get physical

;-)))))

dude - i owned a bar for a year and a 1/2 that had the roughest crowd in my city and kept it under total control. that wasn't out of character

dyna mo · 10-05-2009, 05:00 PM

Gimli Facts

* population: 2000

Deej · 10-05-2009, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exotic Gold

I was at the grocery last week and as I'm loading my shit in the car these two kids come running past with a plastic jug of booze in each hand and behind them is the store security guard screaming at them and chasing.

One books left, one books right and runs right past me.

After 100 yards or so the security guard gives up and as he's walking back past me he says, "Why didn't you stop that kid?"

My answer: "What the fuck makes you think I'm on your side?"

JamesK · 10-05-2009, 06:06 PM

wall of text

Pics Traffic · 10-05-2009, 06:15 PM

as if anyone is going to read that.

10-05-2009, 04:25 AM	#1
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	True story that happened yesterday I'm walking into a convenience store here in Gimli looking for a movie and watch some kid shoplift a movie case. Now I think no one can be that dumb, as the DVD isn't in the case, but I know the owners so i tell them and sure as shit doesn't the guy leap over the counter and chase the kid down the street. The kid's a runner and the owner is in shape too so they bother start booking down the street at high speed one after the other. Of course it's a scam cause as soon as the owner took off after him 3 kids quicky and quietly pile into the store with empty duffle bags. They're all about 15 and I'm there left in the store wondering if I should defend it or not. the kids don't know me so they just assume I'm a dumb customer who doesn't know the owner and they proceed to start stuffing all the cigarettes and DVDs and lotto tickets into their bags. Stupid me in a situation like this starts thinking right away why the fuck would these idiots take traceable lotto tickets. Then i realize there is a few video cameras in the place and these fools don't have masks on. Now I'm a big guy and after owning a bar I cab COMMAND a presence, so I grab one kid and toss him against the wall like a rag doll flattening him and holler out in a deep forceful voice 'fucking thieves are gona die' . I go for the second one and he drops his bag and bolts for the door. The third kid behind the counter reaches down under the cash register into the deli meat section and take a butcher knife. I feel the adrenaline pump into my veins and quickly look around for a weapon but realize I can't fight a butcher knife with potato chip carton. So I calmly say straight in his eyes as he moves forward on me "I'm gona take that knife off you and slice your but check off with it" without a second's hesitation and no fear at all in me. I can see this scares him but the situation dictates he has to go though me to get to the door to get out so he's basically a caged rat. He friend I tossed gets up now, really shaken and starts to panic says they have to get out of there. The other kid drops the knife and they both run, leaving their half filled bags. Of course a moment later the store owner comes back , out of breath having not caught the kid , and sees the pace wrecked and only me in there. Before I open my mouth he screams WHAT THE FUCK, THAT"s IT and goes for where I know he keeps his gun. I get the fuck out of there as fast as I can, leaving my car in the front of the place. I don't know were to go in a panic so i just start walking around the town, worried the store owner before he cools down will come to my house for me. I realize as I calm down there was cameras and he'll figgure it out in a bit but till then I don't want to get killed. Suddenly as I walk by a house I feel a joilt of pain go right though me. I've been tazerd by the police. Seems as I'm a big guy they were too afraid to confront me so they just zapped me without any questions. I have high blood pressure so the zap caused me a mild heart attack. I blacked out and woke up in the local jail in a lot of pain. Minutes after I wake up I'm hauled into an interrogation room with a cop that keeps pushing a pen and paper in front of me asking for a confession. I look at him like he's in drugs and he keeps saying they know all about me and there's no way out of this now. I calmly mention the video camera and sternly refer to him as a dumbass. He tells me the camera were off, conveniently turned off an hour or so before the robbery and demands to know my whereabouts at that time. I 've had enough, and shake my head in disbelief. He gets aggressive telling me about jail and what will happen to me. This doesn't scare me at all, all my old clients from the bar and in and out of jail her all the time and run the place and love me. Anyway he slaps me and after everything I've had it. The cop is a punny 180 so I grab him by the neck and let him know i'm in controll of him. 3 cops bust into the room, all typical tiny guys and it's a brawl. I throw one into the three and grab a chair. I don't advance but i demand to see the commander but demanding anything from cops isn't exactly smart. They beat me down and I wake up again in my cell covered in blood a few hours later. Apparently I'm being charged with a host of things including assaulting several policed officers and robbery. They keep going on about the pornography thing and how they know everything. I demand my lawyer so they let me have a phone call and an hour later he shows up with all my friends and family and we have a big happy birthday party for my cousin in the jail. So at what point in the story did you realize this was all bullshit and not real at all? __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

10-05-2009, 04:39 AM	#3
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,624	Bored Sleazy? __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

10-05-2009, 05:12 AM	#7
RAM They're all hookers, but mom! Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Right now Shelby Twp MI Posts: 7,047	I will be honest you had me ..... but between the Tazzer and Beating down the small cops I was in GREAT DisBelief __________________ RAM Fucking Machines are like CASH MACHINES See RAM on these quality sites!! Rightofftheboat.com EuroBrideTryouts.com

10-05-2009, 05:18 AM	#9
cezam Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: CZ, EU Posts: 1,363	when you said you grabbed the cop by the neck i realised it's not real. you wouldn't be that stupid to assault a cop. good story tho! __________________

10-05-2009, 05:55 AM	#12
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,892	When you didn't eat the potatoe chips __________________ *Skype : Spunky GFY*

10-05-2009, 04:34 AM	#2
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	eliteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee line breakkkk yooo heheheheeh Skuftyyyyyyyyyy

10-05-2009, 05:06 AM	#6
x582 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: heh? Posts: 609	When you said you jumped the cops I knew. Funny

10-05-2009, 05:16 AM	#8
eddieinaz So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 179	Look like you have a Superman complex too!

10-05-2009, 05:49 AM	#10
area51 - BANNED FOR LIFE So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,164	I don't feel like reading all that, someone please cliff note it

10-05-2009, 05:50 AM	#11
Altwebdesign Guest Posts: n/a	i read the whole thing, lmao!

10-05-2009, 06:01 AM	#13
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,457	i caught on at the heart attack..lol __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

10-05-2009, 06:03 AM	#14
Killswitch - BANNED FOR LIFE Guest Posts: n/a	Fuck dude, that's not a lot of text, but learn to hit enter every once and a while...

10-05-2009, 06:07 AM	#15
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	heheh good one __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

10-05-2009, 06:08 AM	#16
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	You lost me at ... "walking into a convenience store" .

10-05-2009, 06:13 AM	#18
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Mmmm, looks boring... __________________ I'm just a newbie.

10-05-2009, 07:06 AM	#20
sexandcash Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,566	Well THIS happened to me yesterday. I am Brian see. It's in the avatar. __________________ SexandCash ICQ: 490-947-295

10-05-2009, 07:20 AM	#21
wizzart scriptmaster Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Location: Serbia Posts: 5,237	Next time, use enter button, please!

10-05-2009, 07:27 AM	#22
xxweekxx Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 6,780	who wants to read that shit.. use line breaks..and stop snitching idiot __________________ _________________ I am the best

10-05-2009, 07:32 AM	#23
Richard Dawkins So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 116	I stopped believing it at, "So at what point in the story did you realize this was all bullshit and not real at all?"

10-05-2009, 07:39 AM	#25
Michael O More Cowbell Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Nakhom Nowhere Posts: 10,607	<br> <p> __________________ Truth Teller

10-05-2009, 08:25 AM	#26
Nurgle Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Land of OZ Posts: 2,337	when u said u were walking __________________ I am not a megalomaniac.. I just rule the world Need Quality Hardlinks? We have several packages and custom deals available. High Quality Hard Links For Sale ICQ: 394016570

10-05-2009, 12:50 PM	#28
Jayvis Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 5,427	I still believe it.

10-05-2009, 01:00 PM	#31
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 60,350	at the thread title

10-05-2009, 01:01 PM	#32
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	About the time you said you were going to cut his buttcheek off... I knew then that it wasnt you. Not saying youre a coward, but as youve said in the past, youre not one to risk your shit(especially your life) for someoneelse's business. __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

10-05-2009, 01:48 PM	#35
american pervert Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,809	i knew it was fake when you claimed you got physical with one. keyboard warriors never get physical ;-))))) __________________ I can resist everything except temptation

10-05-2009, 02:37 PM	#37
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	haha great story __________________ Make More Money with Cams and Dating at FFN.com! email: [email protected]

10-05-2009, 03:05 PM	#40
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	Holy no line breaks batman......im out lol __________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

10-05-2009, 03:13 PM	#41
ThumbLord Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Aruba Posts: 1,932	true was the word killing it. as in the title and the author. __________________ We Sell Domains \| ThumbLords \| ICQ 128106905 \| TubeLords \| Traffic Holder \| eRoken

10-05-2009, 03:45 PM	#42
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	At this point I starting thinking it's a lie: "The third kid behind the counter reaches down under the cash register into the deli meat section and take a butcher knife." __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

10-05-2009, 04:06 PM	#43
cam_girls So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,968	most people don't bother with the B/S confession at the end. You could have milked that party in prison scene for another paragraph, and infiltrated the womens prison, got some ladies pregnant, had some kids, pay support to women in prison..

10-05-2009, 04:33 PM	#44
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,883	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

10-05-2009, 05:00 PM	#47
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 60,350	Gimli Facts * population: 2000

10-05-2009, 06:06 PM	#49
JamesK hi Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 16,731	wall of text __________________ M3Server - NATS Hosting

10-05-2009, 06:15 PM	#50
Pics Traffic Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 3,055	as if anyone is going to read that.